QUESTION: I worry about my 12-year-old in "chat-rooms" on the Internet. It doesn't seem that bad. Such I be worried?

ANSWER: So often these days, I hear parents use phrases like: "It's not that bad." or "There are worse things." or "I don't see anything wrong about it." I believe this is compromise. Instead of always trying to figure out what is wrong with a behavior, movie, T.V. show, etc., ask "What is right about it." 1 Corinthians 10:23 says: "Everything is permissible--but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible--but not everything is constructive." (NIV) When it comes to questionable activities like chat-rooms, where deception is an integral part of the setup, I would be wary. Again, ask what is right about it. It may not be overtly evil, but is it "constructive"?....."beneficial"? Does it build up faith?

Paul says in Philippians 4: 8: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about these things." Rather challenging to us all about how and where we spend our time, don't you think? Let me offer some guidelines:

1. Sit with your child and explore the Internet together.

2. Limit the time. God calls us to interact with people, not machines.

3. Check the sites your child visits often.

4. Have clear, godly expectations for you child regarding the Internet. Make certain he/she knows these expectations.

5. Utilize a good filter, but no filter will take your place.

6. Help your children be able to recognize evil and its tactics. "Be wise as a serpent, and innocent as a dove." (MT. 10:16)

We all have heard a few wonderful anecdotes about chat-rooms and the Internet. As a counselor, I have heard different stories... how the Internet and chat-rooms have been a seductive, titillating, and destructive trap. I have seen six men in my office in the last two years as individuals (men are hard to get into counseling alone). All of these men came because of addictions to pornography and/or affairs that began in chat-rooms on the Internet. These were all Christian men, active in their churches. Satan will use anything and warp it to be used for evil purposes. Stay alert!